Size matters

The slim seventeen year old son of a friend of ours recently went shopping at the Army Surplus Store. He was very chuffed with his new camouflage trousers and whipped them theatrically out of the bag to show his Mum. ‘They look a bit on the big side,’ she said, ‘Well, they’re a 34”, Mum!’ he retorted. ‘Yes, but you are a 34” leg, not a 34” waist!” He’s still wearing them, hoisted up with a belt!